Ask Professor Blade – President of the Atlanta Federation of Garden Gnomes, Spokes-Gnome for Arbor-Nomics® Turf
Arbor-Nomics Turf talked with Professor Ignatius Blade, the foremost gnomic expert on analyzing Atlanta’s ailing yards and eliminating spreading weeds.
Q: A think tank of highly respected lawn gnomes recently named Arbor-Nomics #1 in Atlanta lawn care. Can you explain that decision?
Professor Blade: Our committee of graminoid* experts rigorously tested Atlanta area grass lawns and judged Arbor-Nomics Turf to have produced the lushest, greenest, most luxuriant specimens. Some of the criteria were overall appearance, texture, color, bounciness and comfort. It was an easy decision.
Q: What did your panel think of the competition?
PB: There really is no competition for the kind of results or service you get with Arbor-Nomics Turf. Even a local human survey ranked them first in customer satisfaction.
Q: What’s your personal experience been like?
PB: I’ve popped up and slept in practically every neighborhood and suburb of Atlanta, so I’ve seen how Arbor-Nomics Turf can handle any combination of grass, weeds and soil to make yards beautiful, inviting and soooo comfortable.
Q: What about the products and materials they use?
PB: They use only the best! As a certified authority in Grassology and Anti-Weed Proliferation, I can tell you that Arbor-Nomics Turf uses the correct combination of treatments applied at the right time of year to get lawns green and healthy, and keep them that way.
Q: What about the big guys?
PB: Is that a poke at my height? Just because someone is big doesn’t mean they’re good. In fact, gnomes are a symbol of good luck, signifying that the forces of nature are on your side. How’s that for power? Same with Arbor-Nomics Turf. They are powerful in customer service. They worry about the small things that don’t matter to the big-name guys. Take the owner, Dick and the Vice President, Doug. They’re personally involved in the business and care about every one of their customers. You won’t get that kind of commitment and service from those big-name guys. Nobody has a bad thing to say about Arbor-Nomics Turf – except the weeds!
Q: How does Arbor-Nomics Turf work with homeowners?
PB: Well, one of our certified technicians come out and analyze the property and determine the proper approach to the plant life, from grass to bushes to ornamental trees. Then they make a recommendation for treatment and lawn care. Most of their business comes from referrals, and their customer satisfaction rates consistently above 90%. We gnomes make it our business to know these things.
Q: Do people like having gnomes in their yards?
PB: Of course they do! It’s very prestigious for homeowners to have the kind of property favored by gnomes. A beautiful lawn is a home’s face to the world, as well as a sign of pride in ownership.
Q: Aren’t gnomes just a little mysterious?
PB: Little, yes. Mysterious, no. You can see us around Atlanta at houses with exceptional lawns, like the ones maintained by Arbor-Nomics Turf. We’re very picky about where we sleep.
Q: Is it true that gnomes have magical powers?
PB: People say we bring them good luck and make their gardens grow. So if you want the kind of lawn that attracts us gnomes, call Arbor-Nomics Turf or send them an e-mail. Go ahead and make an appointment for a free consultation and estimate, and they’ll even bring you your first gnome.
*Term referring to a specific group of Poaceae, or true grasses.